The Trial ....

Man from Countryside: 

"Good morning, Worm your honor.
The crown will plainly show
The prisoner who now stands before you
Was caught red-handed showing feelings
Showing feelings of an almost human nature;
This will not do.
Call the schoolmaster!"

Schoolmaster:

I always said he'd come to no good
In the end your honor.
If they'd let me have my way I could
Have flayed him into shape.
But my hands were tied,
The bleeding hearts and artists
Let him get away with murder.
Let me hammer him today?

Before the law, there stands a guard. A man comes from the country, begging admittance to the law. But the guard cannot admit him. May he hope to enter at a later time? That is possible, said the guard. The man tries to peer through the entrance. He'd been taught that the law was to be accessible to every man. "Do not attempt to enter without my permission", says the guard. I am very powerful. Yet I am the least of all the guards.

Mime Thinking:

Crazy,
Toys in the attic I am crazy,
Truly gone fishing.
They must have taken my marbles away.
Crazy, toys in the attic he is crazy.

Man from Countryside:

You little shit you're in it now,
I hope they throw away the key.
You should have talked to me more often
Than you did, but no! You had to go
Your own way, have you broken any
Homes up lately?
Just five minutes, Worm your honor,
Him and Me, alone.

From hall to hall, door after door, each guard is more powerful than the last. By the guard's permission, the man sits by the side of the door, and there he waits. For years, he waits. Everything he has, he gives away in the hope of bribing the guard, who never fails to say to him "I take what you give me only so that you will not feel that you left something undone."

Mother:

Baaaaaaaaaabe!
Come to mother baby, let me hold you
In my arms.
M'lud I never wanted him to
Get in any trouble.
Why'd he ever have to leave me?
Worm, your honor, let me take him home.

 Mime Thinking:

Crazy,
Over the rainbow, I am crazy,
Bars in the window.
There must have been a door there in the wall
When I came in.
Crazy, over the rainbow, he is crazy.

Keeping his watch during the long years, the man has come to know even the fleas on the guard's fur collar. Growing childish in old age, he begs the fleas to persuade the guard to change his mind and allow him to enter. His sight has dimmed, but in the darkness he perceives a radiance streaming immortally from the door of the law.

The Judge:
The evidence before the court is
Incontrivertable, there's no need for
The jury to retire.
In all my years of judging
I have never heard before
Of someone more deserving
Of the full penaltie of law.

Man from Countryside:
The way you made them suffer,
Your exquisite wife and mother,
Fills me with the urge to defecate!

"Hey Judge! Shit on him!" 

 

And now, before he dies, all he's experienced condenses into one question, a question he's never asked. He beckons the guard. Says the guard, "You are insatiable! What is it now?" Says the man, "Every man strives to attain the law. How is it then that in all these years, no one else has ever come here, seeking admittance?" 

His hearing has failed, so the guard yells into his ear. "Nobody else but you could ever have obtained admittance. No one else could enter this door! This door was intended only for you! And now, I'm going to close it." 

Man from Countryside:
Since, my friend, you have revealed your
Deepest fear,
I sentence you to be exposed before
Your peers.
Tear down the wall!

 With Reference to Pink Floyd - The Trial - Franz Kafka 

Spanish Train ... Peace Train

“ Now I've justified this to myself in all sorts of ways. It wasn't a big deal, just a minor betrayal. Or we'd outgrown each other, you know, that sort of thing. But let's face it, I ripped them off - my so called mates. But Begbie, I couldn't give a shit about him. And Sick Boy, well he'd done the same to me, if he'd only thought of it first. And Spud, well okay, I felt sorry for Spud - he never hurt anybody.

So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers - all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change - I'm going to change. This is the last of that sort of thing. “ (Trainspotting, the movie.)

There's a Spanish train that runs between
Guadalquivir and old Saville,
And at dead of night the whistle blows,
and people hear she's running still...

And then they hush their children back to sleep,
Lock the doors, upstairs they creep,
For it is said that the souls of the dead
Fill that train ten thousand deep!!

Now I've been happy lately, 

thinking about the good things to come

And I believe it could be, 

something good has begun

Oh I've been smiling lately, 

dreaming about the world as one

And I believe it could be, 

some day it's going to come

Well a railwayman lay dying with his people by his side,
His family were crying, knelt in prayer before he died,
But above his bed just a-waiting for the dead,
Was the Devil with a twinkle in his eye,
"Well God's not around and look what I've found,
this one's mine!!"

Just then the Lord himself appeared in a blinding flash of light,
And shouted at the Devil, "Get thee hence to endless night!!"
But the Devil just grinned and said "I may have sinned,
But there's no need to push me around,
I got him first so you can do your worst,
He's going underground!!"

Cause out on the edge of darkness, 

there rides a peace train

Oh peace train take this country, 

come take me home again

Now I've been smiling lately, 

thinking about the good things to come

And I believe it could be, 

something good has begun

"But I think I'll give you one more chance"
said the Devil with a smile,
"So throw away that stupid lance,
It's really not your style",
"Joker is the name, Poker is the game,
we'll play right here on this bed,
And then we'll bet for the biggest stakes yet,
the souls of the dead!!"

And I said "Look out, Lord, He's going to win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is dead on time, many souls are on the line,
Oh Lord, He's going to win!.."

Oh peace train sounding louder

Glide on the peace train

Come on now peace train

Yes, peace train holy  roller

Everyone jump upon the peace train

Come on now peace train

Well the railwayman he cut the cards
And he dealt them each a hand of five,
And for the Lord he was praying hard
Or that train he'd have to drive...
Well the Devil he had three aces and a king,
And the Lord, he was running for a straight,
He had the queen and the knave and nine and ten of spades,
All he needed was the eight...

And then the Lord he called for one more card,
But he drew the diamond eight,
And the Devil said to the son of God,
"I believe you've got it straight,
So deal me one for the time has come
To see who'll be the king of this place,
But as he spoke, from beneath his cloak,
He slipped another ace...

777

Ten thousand souls was the opening bid,
And it soon went up to fifty-nine,
But the Lord didn't see what the Devil did,
And he said "that suits me fine",
"I'll raise you high to a hundred and five,
And forever put an end to your sins",
But the Devil let out a mighty shout, "My hand wins!!"

And I said "Lord, oh Lord, you let him win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is dead on time, many souls are on the line,
Oh Lord, don't let him win..."
 

Get your bags together, 

go bring your good friends too

Cause it's getting nearer, 

it soon will be with you

Now come and join the living, 

it's not so far from you

And it's getting nearer, 

soon it will all be true

Well that Spanish train still runs between,
Guadalquivir and old Saville,
And at dead of night the whistle blows,
And people fear she's running still...
And far away in some recess
The Lord and the Devil are now playing chess,
The Devil still cheats and wins more souls,
And as for the Lord, well, he's just doing his best...

Now I've been crying lately, 

thinking about the world as it is

Why must we go on hating, 

why can't we live in bliss

Cause out on the edge of darkness, 

there rides a peace train

Oh peace train take this country, 

come take me home again

And I said "Lord, oh Lord, you've got to win,
The sun is down and the night is riding in,
That train is still on time, oh my soul is on the line,
Oh Lord, you've got to win..."

Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on,

going straight and choosing 

life.

I'm looking forward to it already. 

I'm gonna be just like you.

The job, the family, the fucking big television. 

The washing machine,

the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, 

good health, 

low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, 

starter home, leisure wear,

luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, 

children,

walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, 

washing the car,

choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension,

tax exemption, clearing

gutters, getting by, 

looking ahead, the day you die.” 

From the movie, Trainspotting.

Sometimes we just need a little peace...

(Peace Train - Cat Stevens/ Yusuf Islam, Spanish Train - Chris de Burgh)  

Sacrifice ...

Can you remember the defining moments in your life? Moments where everything changed… moments that will be etched in your mind forever.

Last week I had such an experience.

I had the opportunity to meet an extraordinary man in Cape Town a few days ago. R is a man in his late-thirties who had a car accident in his early twenties. He lives in the beautiful town of Strand in the Western Cape, South Africa.

Hello my friend
We meet again
It's been a while
Where should we begin?
Feels like forever

When I had my eighteen month stint as a teacher back in the mid eighties I had the privilege of teaching Geography to R… at the time I thought then that when I have a kid one day, I really wanted him to be like R. Bright, friendly, Handsome, brilliant sportsman, full of energy and light. A kid that had the whole world at his feet. Someone with a wonderful future ahead of him. (And I have been blessed with a wonderful child, my son... JP. When I grow up...I want to be like him ;)). I can still remember how R always argued with me about getting higher marks and his wisdom at that young age really impressed me.  Over the years I always wondered what happened to this brilliant young man. 

Within my heart
Are memories
You gave to me 

Through the wonder of facebook I saw his name again last year, we connected. I immediately wrote him that I would like to see him again and joked about the time I was a young teacher. He responded that he couldn’t remember me… I was a bit pissed of…and told him so… my fragile ego in pieces.  I mean, I always thought that I was an above average teacher and that some of the kids would at least remember me. At least the bright ones.

We've seen our share
Of ups and downs
Oh, how quickly life
Can turn around
In an instant

 It was then that he told me about his accident and apologized that he could not remember me due to gaps in his long term memory.  After having been in a coma for a long time, he recovered miraculously. R had to stop his studies and had to change his life completely and ended up working as a labourer. The insurance only paid out more than 15 years after the accident and he can now afford a small apartment and has a pension to take care of him. He also started studying again, involved in charity work and dream of running his own business again one day.

R said one thing to me that I will remember for the rest of my life. He said that he became the person that he always thought he never wanted to be... a dependent, someone who couldn't do it for himself... and that he had to make peace with that and start living again. I can see that he does not regret what has happened to him, but that he sees it as one big opportunity. The ultimate sacrifice…

This brings tears
To my eyes
This sacrifice…

There are so many things that scare me…. scared that my plans will not work out, scared that I might loose my possessions… scared that my son will grow up in a world where he will not be okay… is this just survival instinct kicking in? Would it make me a better person if I stop fearing so many things? Or would it be like the turning point in my life when I realized that the bullsh** indoctrination by the church kept me captured by fear for such a long time.

Isn’t it now time to have multiple turning points side by side by side… ? Maybe this is the way to create a big bang “orgasm” and explode into a magical world of constant ecstasy and wonder.  Life is short… how do I make sure that I live it to the fullest? 

It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and
Within your mind
Let's find peace there

Something happens inside of me when I meet wonderful people like R. My intention is to give to him. I want to give him hope. I want him to know that I am sincerely interested in him and look forward to a long friendship. But I left having received much more than I can ever give. I left realizing that less is so much more...

There are so many wonderful giving people in this world... people who realize that we need to give to keep life safe for future generations. Give (up) good for great...

As it is in heaven...

It is now that my life is mine
I’ve got this short time on earth
And my longing has brought me here
All I lacked and all I gained

Lena: My grandfather will have to paint another angel now.

And yet it’s the way that I chose

My trust was far beyond words

That has shown me a little bit

Of the heaven I’ve never found

I want to feel I’m alive

All my living days

I will live as I desire

I want to feel I’m alive

Knowing I was good enough

I have never lost who I was

I have only left it sleeping

Maybe I never had a choice

Just the will to stay alive

All I want is to be happy

Being who I am

To be strong and to be free

To see day arise from night

Daniel Daréus: When you like someone, how do you know that you love them?
Lena: Well, you... it makes you happy when you see him.
Daniel Daréus: Yes. And more?
Lena: You, you think about him all the time.
Daniel Daréus: Right. What else?
Lena: You're happy when you're with him.
Daniel Daréus: Happy when you are together... Lena... I love you.

I am here and my life is only mine
And the heaven I thought was there
I’ll discover it there somewhere
I want to feel that I’ve lived my life!

- Gabriella’s Song, Helen Sjöholm

Blaas Jou Vuvuzela...

Forgive them. But the Dutch seemed to have become a lot more grumpier over the last few years. Coming to Amsterdam after I "officially" gave up my apartment in January, having lived here for five years,  feels a bit different this time.... Back in my tourist role again... But with more inside (insight?) knowledge about this beautiful place than ever before. Over the past few years my view of the Dutch has also become a lot more tempered... maybe just more realistic...

Most Dutchies feel the future is not going to be as good as a few years ago... In a way the financial crisis has highlighted a few things... Fewer subsidies are forcing people to think differently about forming new partnerships... Mmm.... Seems to me quite a few people are finding it very tough to operate in this world where the certainties are becoming fewer and fewer... The "regels" are changing....

Many have questions about the assimilation of immigrants. A new law even forces people out of the country if they cannot learn the "taaltje". (The tiny Dutch language) Most of the advertisements for jobs state clearly that you won't be considered if you can't speak the "taal". Makes one think about the "lager" mentality of the Afrikaners in South Africa before the big fall of Apartheid. I also have to smile in my blue beard when they vehemently deny the "subtle" discrimination that is lingering under the surface in Dutch society. Maybe it is just the "onderrok" (Symbolic burka) hanging out ...very visibly... it is often also the ones who complain about the immigrants that are frequently also the ones who don't live near any.

I also understand much better now why so many South Africans are hesitant to get involved with the Dutch. And I can only speak from my own personal experience. The difference in so-called first world thinking and third world thinking is just so, well... different. I often feel like a  juggler juggling a few paradoxical fireballs... character-vs-reputation... And looking with an African lens a privilege. It also highlights the fact that we only see what we want to see... So do I...

Having tried my heart out over the past few years to build bridges between South Africa and the Netherlands, it often left me totally confused. My Africanness (and weird thinking) often made me doubt myself and the way "we" do things and the way "they" do things... It is not easy to build business outside the framework of how things should be done in the Netherlands... My perception that the Dutch were some of the most open minded people in the world got dashed very quickly... Learning to think "inside" the box became a big challenge.

The Dutch are very good at complaining... Even with relative wealth and staged happiness, most of them have the ability to see a cloud in every silver lining. Even the weather... Well, in my opinion a very legitimate reason to complain, evokes strange reactions. If the sun sticks out its head after long rainy cold days, it is interesting to observe the Dutchies. They start smiling, sit outside with a coffee in hand... very "gezellig" (a word that gets to the heart of the Dutch psyche)... Just to duck-and-dive when the clouds gather again.

I often felt that Amsterdam would have been heaven if it wasn't for the Dutch. Sorry Dutchies, just some Allochtoon humour :-) There Is so much of Africa's blood and tears and gold invested in this country. And then, just when you want to give up on them, one of the several friends I have made here, does something to give me hope again. Yes, I have met some of the most wonderful people on this planet here in the Netherlands... different, but great people. People who continue to support me on the iSTART2 journey. People who give me hope that my investment in the Netherlands will not end in nothingness. People with African hearts... People who keep dreams of uniting diverse people of the world, alive, in this beautiful city...

In Amsterdam the streets are safe. Bike culture is healthy. Museums are well maintained. You can sit in a cafe sipping expensive coffee all day. Public places are well maintained. Public transport goes everywhere. The entire city is a world heritage site. Mind expansion is even available in different forms...

But I have become very weary of the Dutch over the past few years... Maybe just realizing that the utopia of freedom doesn't exist in Amsterdam? Maybe full understanding of the Dutch "treat" ? Maybe just the realization that it is good being South African... and I am glad I will be home soon. Maybe that is the biggest lesson I have learnt in Amsterdam: Freedom only exists within you... and, there is no place like home... 

Blaas Jou Vuvuzela



Hopefully this post is proof that complaining can be quite "gezellig"... And proof that I have learnt from Amsterdam...

:-)

With a little help from my friends ...

I have learnt to love the clown in me again... the one who feels too much, facebooks too much, takes too many risks, wins sometimes and looses most of the time, lacks selfcontrol, loves people and hates what we are doing to this earth, hurts and gets hurt, makes mistakes, laughs often, cries sometimes...

What would you do
If I sang outta tune
Would you stand up
And walk out on me?

Lend me your ears
And I'll sing you a song
I will try not to sing outta key
'Be outta tune'

Yes, over the past few months I have learnt a few things again…

I have learnt to love the fool in me again… the one who sometimes sings "outta tune"...

Sitting here on this beautiful morning watching the sunrise and thinking where the heck we are in this Istart2 journey… Time waits for no man and the clock is ticking towards the end of November when the world will gather in South Africa to change the future...

It is probably very human to start having doubts midway to reaching your goals… but there is just no option to stop a process which has already gone into overdrive… I have also realised that I really need your help, the help of your friends.. as many people as we can to help us make this happen... Help to open a door, help with a design, help with spreading the iSTART2 message... help with organising your networks to support this cause... 

 "The newspapers kept stroking my fear. New surveys provided awful statistics on just about everything. Evidence suggested that we were not doing well. Researchers gloomily agreed. Environment psychologists were interviewed. Damage had ‘unwittingly’ been done. There were ‘feared lapses’. There were ‘misconceptions’ about potential. Situations had ‘deteriorated’. Cruelty was on the rise and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

The populace was confounded, yet didn’t care. Unpublished studies hinted that we were all paying a price. Scientists peered into data and concluded that we should all be very worried. No one knew what normal behavior was anymore, and some argued that this was a form of virtue. And no one argued back. No one challenged anything.

Anxiety was soaking up most people’s days. Everyone had become preoccupied with horror. Madness was fluttering everywhere. There was fifty years of research supporting this data. There were diagrams illustrating all of these problems – circles and hexagons and squares, different sections colored in lime or lilac or gray. Most troubling were the fleeting signs that nothing could transform any of this into something positive.

You couldn’t help being both afraid and fascinated. Reading these articles made you feel that the survival of mankind didn’t seem very important in the long run. We were doomed. We deserved it. I was so tired."
— Bret Easton Ellis

It is also over the last few months that I have learnt once again the value of friends who are there for you through  think and thin. Friends are helpful not only because they will listen to us, but because they will laugh at us. Through them we learn a little objectivity, a little modesty, a little courtesy. We learn how life works and become better players of this game we call life.  

All we need is a little help from our friends.

One is company... two is a crowd... three is heaven

Please email me at pierre@istart2.com if you can help making magic on the iSTART2 process. Thank you...

Morning has broken

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for the opportunity to address you. My name is Lewis Pugh.

This evening, I want to take you back to the early 1990's in this country.  You may remember them well.

Nelson Mandela had been released. There was euphoria in the air. However, there was also widespread violence and deep fear. This country teetered on the brink of a civil war. But somehow, somehow, we averted it. It was a miracle!

And it happened because we had incredible leaders. Leaders who sought calm..  Leaders who had vision. So in spite of all the violence, they sat down and negotiated a New Constitution.

I will never forget holding the Constitution in my hands for the first time.

I was a young law student at the University of Cape Town. This was the cement that brought peace to our land. This was the document, which held our country together. The rights contained herein, made us one.

I remember thinking to myself - never again will the Rights of South Africans be trampled upon.

Now every one of us - every man and every women - black, white, coloured, Indian, believer and non believer - has the right to vote. We all have the Right to Life. And our children have the right to a basic education. These rights are enshrined in our Constitution.

These rights were the dreams of Oliver Tambo. These rights were the dreams of Nelson Mandela. These rights were the dreams of Mahatma Gandhi, of Desmond Tutu and of Molly Blackburn. These rights were our dreams.

People fought ­ and died ­ so that we could enjoy these rights today.

Also enshrined in our Constitution, is the Right to a Healthy Environment and the Right to Water. Our Constitution states that we have the Right to have our environment protected for the benefit of our generation and for the benefit of future generations.

Fellow South Africans, let us not dishonour these rights. Let us not dishonour those men and women who fought and died for these rights. Let us not allow corporate greed to disrespect our Constitution and desecrate our environment.

Never, ever did I think that there would be a debate in this arid country about which was more important ­ gas or water. We can survive without gas....  We cannot live without water.

If we damage our limited water supply ­ and fracking will do just that we will have conflict again here in South Africa. Look around the world. Wherever you damage the environment you have conflict.

Fellow South Africans, we have had enough conflict in this land ­ now is the time for peace.

A few months ago I gave a speech with former President of Costa Rica.  Afterwards I asked him "Mr President, how do you balance the demands of development against the need to protect the environment?"

He looked at me and said : "It is not a balancing act. It is a simple business decision. If we cut down our forests in Costa Rica to satisfy a timber company, what will be left for our future?"

But he pointed out : "It is also a moral decision. It would be morally wrong to chop down our forests and leave nothing for my children and my grandchildren."

Ladies and gentlemen, that is what is at stake here today: Our children's future. And that of our children's children. 

  Can we say no to the little JJ's of this world? 

There may be gas beneath our ground in the Karoo. But are we prepared to destroy our environment for 5 to 10 years worth of fossil fuel and further damage our climate?

Yes, people will be employed ­ but for a short while. And when the drilling is over, and Shell have packed their bags and disappeared, then what? Who will be there to clean up? And what jobs will our children be able to eke out?

Now Shell will tell you that their intentions are honourable. That fracking in the Karoo will not damage our environment. That they will not contaminate our precious water. That they will bring jobs to South Africa.

That gas is clean and green. And that they will help secure our energy supplies.

When I hear this ­ I have one burning question. Why should we trust them?  Africa is to Shell what the Gulf of Mexico is to BP.


Shell, you have a shocking record here in Africa. Just look at your operations in Nigeria. You have spilt more than 9 million barrels of crude oil into the Niger Delta. That's twice the amount of oil that BP spilt into the Gulf of Mexico.

You were found guilty of bribing Nigerian officials ­ and to make the case go away in America - you paid an admission of guilt fine of US$48 million.

And to top it all, you stand accused of being complicit in the execution of Nigeria's leading environmental campaigner ­ Ken Saro-Wira and 8 other activists.

If you were innocent, why did you pay US$15.5 million to the widows and children to settle the case out of Court?

Shell, the path you want us to take us down is not sustainable. I have visited the Arctic for 7 summers in a row. I have seen the tundra thawing.

I have seen the retreating glaciers. And I have seen the melting sea ice.  And I have seen the impact of global warming from the Himalayas all the way down to the low-lying Maldive Islands. Wherever I go ­ I see it.

Now is the time for change. We cannot drill our way out of the energy crisis. The era of fossil fuels is over. We must invest in renewable energy. And we must not delay!

Morning has broken, Like the first morning

Black bird has spoken, like the first bird 

- Cat Stevens

Shell, we look to the north of our continent and we see how people got tired of political tyranny. We have watched as despots, who have ruled ruthlessly year after year, have been toppled in a matter of weeks.

We too are tired. Tired of corporate tyranny. Tired of your short term, unsustainable practices.

We watched as Dr Ian Player, a game ranger from Natal, and his friends, took on Rio Tinto (one of the biggest mining companies in the world) and won.

And we watched as young activists from across Europe, brought you down to your knees, when you tried to dump an enormous oil rig into the North Sea.

Shell, we do not want our Karoo to become another Niger Delta.

Do not underestimate us. Goliath can be brought down. We are proud of what we have achieved in this young democracy ­ and we are not about to let your company come in and destroy it.

So let this be a Call to Arms to everyone across South Africa, who is sitting in the shadow of Goliath: Stand up and demand these fundamental human rights promised to you by our Constitution. Use your voices - tweet, blog, petition, rally the weight of your neighbours and of people in power.

Let us speak out from every hilltop. Let us not go quietly into this bleak future.



Let me end off by saying this - You have lit a fire in our bellies, which no man or woman can extinguish. And if we need to, we will take this fight all the way from your petrol pumps to the very highest Court in this land. We will take this fight from the farms and towns of the Karoo to the streets of London and Amsterdam. And we will take this fight to every one of your shareholders. And I have no doubt, that in the end, good will triumph over evil.

- Lewis Pugh "Human Polar Bear"

iSTART2  for little JJ...